enough

Do i do enough to keep the heart of the man. The man i will forever call Master to my mind, body, and soul...i will do anything for Him, He is my passion, my dark and light, my sun and rain always, no matter what.i belong to Him, If He were to just ask of me, His pleasure is mine anything, enough will never be enough.

How many

Master has me counting the 5 or 6 actually regular nightly maintenance stroke's i get with the crop, on each butt cheek, bent over the breakfast bar. i never thought those 12345 numbers & 6 of course would be as much a part of who i am as they are becoming.Never ever thought counting would be a part but i enjoy the part, and would love to make it so much more, but that isn't for me to decide, so ill be happy with the counting as far as it currently goes. Until or unless Master says otherwise.

superior submissive

Now that was a jokey title but after i googled "superior submissive." i actually
found a web page. http://www.partydomme.com/webworks.htm#supersub... The Mistress Didi*s Superior submissive™ Web cam Workshop teaches protocols for submissive's that are generally accepted by the majority of Dominants in The Scene.
however it occurred to me today that i could well need an attitude shift. ill work on that i think.see where it leads me. i do wonder why Mistress Didi*s event calender is totally free. guess that says it all!!!!!
But i do really think i need to take a look at a few things and balance a bit better, that might make my day if nothing else less stressful

Yes/No..Maybe

Sometimes, when i ask him for somethings, i really want him to say no, for a couple different reasons - (1) because i to have to listen and not do what i want and (2) it reassures me that he cares enough to be strict and (3) sometimes i'm just not strong enough to say no to myself. But MOST times i really do want him to say yes!
i get disappointed when he lets me win. What i really wish is for him to say "too bad, you're not the boss" or on the other hand i'd like to have to wait .builds anticipation which is always exciting!

Life goes on

I don't have time in my life to play games. Well not unless they are fun and benefit me.
Bing cooped up in the house does not help,

Oh im not complaining.

i swear as my life progresses i am becoming more and and more a recluse. If had a palm built tree house on a dessert island as long as my family could visit and i had all the amenities, id be fine, i enjoy my own company, the outside world has never ever had a huge calling for me, im a home girl. always was, always will be. Even in my much younger days i was happy to stay home but now i find it a big big effort to conjure up the will, effort to go out.
Thank goodness i don't really need to and so...............life goes on........

More's the pity

Sometimes being submissive is not that easy, It's just i so HATE making mistakes!
i feel bad about any simple mistake and i'm sure i makes as many as i don't make, i know i can be whiny,i know i can be needy.I'm sure Master would add lazy plus a few other bad points in there as well.

i wish i had more thoughts about who we are and why we do what we do, but i guess I'm too Miss Average and the obvious slave/Master things go right over my head sometime, which is an awful admission but its true,
i know it's only a small part of the whole "us, but I've NOT thinking before I open my mouth quite a bit lately. or even thinking per say,

i want to stop the little things that might take away from the D/s thing we're trying to achieve.i want it perfect but life isn't like that ever. More's pity !!

Crumbling walls

Oh fukc it, things are going along nicely, then something happens, then another, then another and the bright sunlight becomes the gloom of a February grey day, and a gapping chasm open up where once was strong firm ground ,a bit like one of those fantasy films where you are running through the derelict castle and stone work is falling all around you. I’ve decided my life was never meant to be smooth sailing, whenever i get complacent something pulls me up real sharp, and screams “who said you could enjoy life, take this bitch smack”

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure”..... Peter Marshall

Life itself is a journey of ups and downs however, , it can be one hell of a cold ... journey that all we take.... but damn if i don’t think ive cracked it only to find next time i take a serious look something or someone has decided that turning my world upside down ,and making me work real hard to try and balance it yet again is a fun pastime.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”.........lynnie_buttercup