Control is not one of my strengths.It is tremendously hard to deny myself the things that bring me pleasure. Even when what brings me pleasure is painful.Still i try. i keep thinking that desiring the greater goals will spur me on; will give me the mask of control and confidence that i need... to resist... Temptation.
Yet it seems i am destined to endure self-denial. Desiring nothing so much as a few hours of play on soft sheets, my thoughts turn to other attainable satisfactions... cream... or even a silly nonsensical text that flutters my heart strings..instead i'll make do with a cup of tea. i must not let the desires i have which will not be fulfilled in the immediate moment, gain prominence, no point in focusing on what is not,but rather on what might be.Even better focus on what IS.....
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