im Yours

Life completely got screwed up this week. i dislike when things are out of control. Funny coming from a girl who claims to be submissive, but i like order.
I've been distant for a bit due to imaginary issues i felt i was having. Hopefully, everything is sorted now. im done putting myself back together and smoothing down the frayed ends. i pushed and provoked and back talked my way right into what i deserved. Spoiled little girl stomping her feet and demanding to have it her way. My hands on my hips, the glare in my eye. No sugar coating my sass with a smile.So i may need a moment to regain my balance and to collect myself, i am most definitely am not down for the count. i always want more. There's no keeping a good girl down.
Give me.... Please Sir
Take from me..
Its all Yours anyway

Stages

im going through a stage analyzing everything about our relationship and the activities we engage in.i know that there are probably no answers and i have no doubt in a few days i will get over it. Its not about having doubts, im happy and secure, i love You very much and i know that You love me, its more me needing an explanation of what makes me enjoy what i do and i suppose fear as well.


What i do know is that in many ways i have it good as a slave compared to some, and i think at times i have a tendency to take this for granted, i read an intresting article about "false entiltilement" which occurs when a slave begins to see "things" or situations as her "right" an example could be expressing an opinion or eating dinner, are these "rights" or are they privilages? You do allow me to express myself, i have this blog for example and i am quite verbal at times especially if i have a strong opinion about something. When i do give an opinion it should be given in a respectful manner of course. I know that at times im not as respectful as i should be, sometimesYou will pick up on this and other times not, but You could should You want to take away my "right" to an opinion because it could be said that as a slave my opinion is not important, its a privilage and as such can be removed. As for beginning eating im meant to ask permission (when we are together), i very rarely do unless reminded and have taken it for granted that You would never refuse, so again this is not a "right" that i am entitled too.
The point im getting to is i think im at a point where i feel i need You to be more controlling and to follow that through constitantly, on the other hand i am also aware that for You, life pressure may take the place of pleasure ones and Your mind can be so full of real life preasure that my need are rather mundane in the greater scheme of things

Mistakes

i often remind myself that while i assume he expects perfection, Sir also accepts that i make mistakes from time to time. i tend to be harder on myself when i do mess up than he is on me. So much so that i wonder why in the heck he is taking it so easy on me. A time when i need to remind myself that it is not my place to punish myself. That i need to accept what is being said or done to address the issues by him and let it go..

Journey

I don’t claim that this journey called life, is always enjoyable. Like any great adventures it is filled with highs and lows, joys and sorrows, tears of misery and bliss. Often there is a feeling of such love that you feel you may burst, or longing so great that you’re so convinced you may die of heartache.

I ask if you can think of the deepest love you can imagine, a love so great that you’d do anything at all to keep that person happy, to always feel your love for them and to never let them forget it; For that is what it means to be a slave to my Master
By, God help me, I’ll not give it up for anything.