Stages

im going through a stage analyzing everything about our relationship and the activities we engage in.i know that there are probably no answers and i have no doubt in a few days i will get over it. Its not about having doubts, im happy and secure, i love You very much and i know that You love me, its more me needing an explanation of what makes me enjoy what i do and i suppose fear as well.


What i do know is that in many ways i have it good as a slave compared to some, and i think at times i have a tendency to take this for granted, i read an intresting article about "false entiltilement" which occurs when a slave begins to see "things" or situations as her "right" an example could be expressing an opinion or eating dinner, are these "rights" or are they privilages? You do allow me to express myself, i have this blog for example and i am quite verbal at times especially if i have a strong opinion about something. When i do give an opinion it should be given in a respectful manner of course. I know that at times im not as respectful as i should be, sometimesYou will pick up on this and other times not, but You could should You want to take away my "right" to an opinion because it could be said that as a slave my opinion is not important, its a privilage and as such can be removed. As for beginning eating im meant to ask permission (when we are together), i very rarely do unless reminded and have taken it for granted that You would never refuse, so again this is not a "right" that i am entitled too.
The point im getting to is i think im at a point where i feel i need You to be more controlling and to follow that through constitantly, on the other hand i am also aware that for You, life pressure may take the place of pleasure ones and Your mind can be so full of real life preasure that my need are rather mundane in the greater scheme of things