Dream

I dream, i desire so many things from within our M/s, i know that i have a need, it can almost be called an urge, to feel his dominance, his power, his control. i know i want this, i know i need it and yet, when it is there, it hurts, its almost to painful to bear sometimes and yet, it is who we are, it is what we do, it is what we have both said over and over again, what we give to one another. >So why, when it is there, do i struggle with it so. oh sure, i can write about all the ideas of the slave struggling with her submission, sure, i am struggling, sure i get pissed off when i have given 99.9% and it's still not enough, but then there is this spark in me that says……...sheeeshhh woman, of course it isn't, you have to give the other 0.01%, only when you have given that can you say you have given it everything you have and only then will your Master be happy with what you have done, so stop the moaning, you gave yourself, totally, even down to the 0.01% when you accepted his collar and became his slave, no half measures here.

Oh but i struggle.

i struggle with the not having, i moan about not feeling my Masters hand, mentally or physically, when the outside influences get in the way for weeks on end, my Master can literally bring me to my knees. Try as i might to deny the notion that a sub/slave punishes herself far more than her Master ever can... its right, i do.

i am not feeling his dominance, in fact, i had said much the same many times before, but now it feels different it’s almost like we are becoming a nilla old couple. He is far too soft and allowed me to get away with far too much, which i bet He won’t agreed with because he does.


i am looking for answers here. Thank you for listening