In the meantime

I realize I’ve been bad at posting lately. It’s a combination of factors.
I wake up each day, and then watch the clock, wondering how I’ll make it to the end of the day. I have trouble falling asleep, and once I do, I wake up early and can’t fall back asleep. . I don’t know why I’m so eager to make it through each day, I take it second-by-second, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week.Life doesnt get an easier, i struggle evey day and im sure ll continue to do so, Some days are easier than others.

i cant and dont expect life to get any easier on me, my situation cant improve so can only get worse as my health,/fitness follows my age. As i get older so my physical disabilities will become more and more of an issue, this scares the hell out of me.but as there is nothing i can do to change the facts of the case n point in dwelling on it but i needed some dominance in my life. we don’t have many rituals or requirements that I’m required to follow leftSo I need some dominance, to bring me back to center. I miss it, and when its been too long, I sometimes forgot how it makes me feel.In the meantime, i just keep my head above water.