i have to admit that inside me is what can only be described as my GreenEyed Monster, i am sure that the majority of people, male or female have one of these little demons in them and most will let it out if they are given just cause.
If your partner is caught with his/her pants down or takes a step to far, would you smile sweetly, tell them its fine and never think a second thought about it. Well folks...i couldn't and would more than likely flip, scream, shout etc, yet it would seem that some within the lifestyle find this kind of behaviour acceptable, even encourages it, under the banner of it being a part of their lifestyle choice. Not for me it isn't, even tho i accept that each has a right to decide what they do, i am still convinced that if someone needs to have more than one partner, then there is something not quite right within the mainframe of the relationship..... experience, trying new things etc, seems to be a good excuse used regularly for this kind of "play" but i still say that there has to be something behind the need for a Dom or a sub, to play with someone other than their partner even in the name of finding a deeper submission or more experience so they may please their Doms later, or whatever. Still...as i say, not for MG and i, doesn't float our boats at all, in fact we go out of our way to not be put into that kind of a situation, avoiding the play parties at munches if at all possible.
Another question that raised its head today was that of the need for compatibility within a relationship. People seem to forget some of the very basis tenents of life when they fall in love, some of the "do not do's" gets totally lost and the old saying that love is blind takes over and we accept a load of crap that under normal circumstances we wouldn't. We hope that the little incompatibility that become clear within the early stages of a relationship might not have that much bearing on the whole thing and we might be able to work through them. We try and we keep trying in the hope that the little things that are not right will not outdo the things that are good.
Within a D/s relationship, this compatibility is even more important and it should be one of the first things that any Dom or sub should consider before they get in too deep. The Dominant who is looking for a 3rd to join an existing couple would be silly to look at a sub that is only into one on ones, the sub who is not into pain would be silly to consider a Dom who finds that the inflicting of pain is a major part of what he is looking for. It just wont work. However, as with all relationships, it is all to easy to try and block out some of the little incompatibilities in the hope that as the relationship progresses, these will become less significant... but, the chances of some of these things not coming up at some time or another is very unlikely so therefore, we really should all be totally honest with ourselves from the outset, much as we might want or desire a certain Dom or sub, that if we are not compatible, we never will be.
Taking time to find out if each party matches can take a little or a long while but is something that should be done and done properly, find out what you are letting youreself in for before you get too involved or get in too deep, however there are always those hidden things that may not come out in the beginning and when they do, we find ourselves, already deep into a relationship and not wanting to loose what we already have, we try to ignore the bad points. This might work for a time but there is a likelihood that these points will become more and more of an issue until they causes rifts or disagreements between both and inevitably might cause the breakup.
This of course could also be an answer to the beginning of this blog... why do people let others walk all over them, even under the banner of BDSM. Hell..there is no way i would agree to MG wanting to play away, if he did, if he said he needed too.. then i would say, fine.. go ahead.. im off...
It was never bought up at the beginning of our relationship and was never an issue (because it isn't who we are really i guess ) but had we been different, had we not be as compatible as we are and he had other agenda's to mine... then i guess we wouldn't be a couple now.. D/s, nilla or otherwise... Thank god we are compatible.. more so than just compatible..we are soulmates... we only need each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment