Rituals

We have a little non M/s ritual running these days: that of me accompanying my Master as He goes to catch the train to work. The station is only a matter of a few minutes from the flat we rent and it’s no great effort for me to walk over with Him and wait until His train arrives, then watch as He is rapidly taken away from where this slave would so much rather He was…with me.!! There is nothing either of us can do about this, i am absolutely sure neither of us wants or needs it but it has to be done on the 5 days He is on shift and we make the best of it.Today was slightly different in two respects, firstly, this is day 5 of 5 and it shows, my poor Master is so tired that He is running on less that empty, yesterday was empty today I guess He is running on fumes and I look at Him and wonder how long He can keep doing this. We have talked about alternative job opportunities for some time and i am sure that when the first available job comes up that suits Master talents, He will be there, as this one, although it pays the bills, costs us both in so many other ways that it really is fast becoming a liability. The twelve hour shift pattern plus the two hour travelling at each end of that shift means He is out of the house sixteen sometimes seventeen hours a day and apart from that not doing our home life a lot of good, by far my biggest concern is my Master’s health.The second difference today as opposed to others was that usually i would come straight home after Masters train has left, i walk back over the bridge, watching the train pulling away into the distance and try and move past the impending gloom i feel at the prospect of another night alone. We have an awfully big bed that is made for two and sleeping alone isn’t something that i relish. Anyway i would normally return home to the hustle and bustle of the girls screaming and shouting or demanding food, (as kids do) and my thoughts are taken from the loss of my Master for a while and are dragged kicking and screaming into the nilla style that is determined by having kids around. By the time i have dealt with their needs i have forgotten my own and am on auto pilot until the evening is well set in and hopefully Master has managed to get online where we can chat away until the early hours in peace. Not an ideal way to conduct a 24/7 real life M/s relationship, but for now it will have to do.Any way…why didn’t i return home today, the reason isn’t really that important but just to set the record straight, we needed some milk from the shops so off i wander up into the village were we live. As i make this short walk my mind wanders back to my Master’s situation, and just how tired he looked today and i start to think, not for the first time how little i contribute to this partnership. He gives so much of himself, day after day to see that His slave and the children are well cared for, that we have a roof over our heads and food on the table… but the cost to Him grows and i feel that i should be doing more to help…what i don’t know.. i am a housewife and a mother of young children who need me to be at home during most parts of the day and over school holidays and even if they didn’t, Master has made it quite clear that my place is at home, but i so wish i could contribute more sometimes especially when i see how much this is taken out of Him.
Trust me when i say that the minute He reads this, He will be on my case and will once again, convince me that He is fine and that this is what He does and is what i do and so slave should not worry as everything will be fine. That of course, won’t stop this slave from worrying about her Master. I am a worrier, Master joke’s about that sometimes but it is what I am and there is no denying it.
Just some more ramblings of His most loving slave,