Side Effects

Well folks, if you had read an earlier blog, Mad Half Hours-Sunday 24th October you will be aware that i was due to be reprimanded for my behaviour of that day. Because of outside influences, namely children around over the half term, that hadn't been possible until late Wednesday evening.
Once again, i have no intention of going into graphic details of exactly what or how, suffice to say that for an hour or two MG pounded my butt with one thing or another, and i can tell you it hurt, i ended up in floods of tears, not only because of the pain inflicted, but as previously stated, because MG felt he had a need to discipline me in the first place, the concept that a slave punishes herself more than anything her Master can do to her, is very true in my case, i beat myself up so much if i disappoint MG so to add the act of disciplining me, on top of that , made for a very intense evening all round.
The whole incident seems to be the focal point of our time and instead of moving on to other more enjoyable activities, we both felt that the discipline had to be a separate issue and that it would be better to allow that to take the major part of our M/s for the day so therefore nothing sensual or erotic happened to detract from the original intent of MG's actions. We had an early night, cuddled up in bed and tried to sleep... however, that didn't happen, neither of us had a good night and come this morning my Master is not feeling his normal self.
i have watched him today, very low, very tired and somewhat subdued, then a short while ago he makes a very valid point... is it possible for a Dom to drop after such an intense evening as we had the previous night.

The idea of a sub dropping is not a new one, after an intense session, the brain is flooded with thoughts and endorphines and the come down tends to cause a reaction of emotional turmoil and the feeling of being physically and mentally drained. The occasions i have suffered from subdrop, i am usually weepy and emotional and no amount of comfort or Master holding me or telling me its ok, makes a lot of difference, i really just need time to get myself together.
So.... here we are today with one very down Master... so maybe.. he too has drop, and this is his way of coping with what "He" went through last night. After all, ok, i am the one on the receiving end of the discipline, but he in his turn has to steel himself to do what he does, in the best interest of his slave... it cannot be easy for him to push himself into creating the right amount of pain, the correct attitude in his head, the mental preparation that must be needed to inflict that on the one you love, to ignore the tears and continue because you know it is the right thing to do and that to stop would be a waste of all the effort already put in and would not achieve the desired result if you did, so would be wasted.
Its all too easy for the slave and everyone else, come to that, to forget the Dominant is human too and has feelings and if, like MG, he has love for his slave, really and truly, to hurt her in that way, goes against all the things that nature tells us, not to hit a woman, not to cause pain to the one you love etc... and yet, within our M/s that is sometimes needed or the whole relationship becomes a farce and there is no point... if MG is to dominate and control, there are going to be times when things i do, go against his way of thinking and he will need to put that right but in doing so, he causes a conflict within himself by the very act he is having to perform.
Today, he obviously is suffering from the effect of last night, maybe more than i am, (a sore butt isn't so bad) and all i can do is be with him until he comes to terms with his inner demons and of course, as always, reassure him that anything he does, will not make me love him any the less.
He is Master, i have given him the gift of my submission and in doing so, i agree to whatever he feels is needed to make me the slave he wishes me to be. What he in his turn will have to do, each time this kind of thing occurs, is to steel himself to perform his duty as my Master to the best if His ability thereby using the control i give to him.
We are a partnership, two way street, i try to give of my best to MG, he tried to give of his best to me, we do what we do, for one another and in doing that, sometimes, we take more out of ourselves than we realise.
But, Master and slave, we travel the road together, sometimes it is easy going, others not so but we would be failing each other if we did not perform what we know the other needs, albeit sometimes harsh and sometimes at a cost to ourselves.
i thank MG for what he put into last night even thought it hurt like hell and sitting down is not that comfortable today, we had talked about it a fair bit beforehand and we both agreed that it was what was needed and to that end, the act was administered and now we can move on with a resolve that our M/s is secure in his capable hands.