And the clock ticks...

We humans, by our very nature sometimes wish time away and sometimes wish it would go more slowly. Either way, without any thought or action on our part, time does, inevitably move along. Some days it would seem to go faster than others but in reality, it passes and the future becomes the present and very soon it becomes the past.
We look back on good and bad times and in certain instances view those as worth remembering or trying to forget, however, that past is not changeable and it is what usually makes us the people we are.
My past isn't all that much worth even mentioning. Good bits have happened as well as bad and i like to view my whole life from within little boxes that i keep in a storage compartment in my memory bank. (brain)

Some boxes are pretty pink, with a frilly bow to tie the lid down, these i am happy to open and take out the contents and recall the good times. Other boxes might be plain, brown, boring and tied with a piece of string, the contents of which i can view without any difficulty if i have a mind to go to that time and place but these memories have little effect on me now. They are just that, memories.
i also have another box, black, dark, closed tight, wrapped around by a thick heavy chain, padlocked and no key. This box i never open, (or try not to)

My point is that we all have a past, some of which is good and some bad but these times in our lives we cannot change so therefore we have to deal with whatever each box holds for us and move on with the next memory without allowing the old ones to have to much effect on us at the present time in our lives.
If we continue to look back at the dark stages of our lives, we are never going to be able to move forward and without that chance, we are never going to be able to make new and happy memories to replace the old ones. There is of course the concept that we can learn from the past, from our mistakes and that is true to some degree, but to dwell on what was or what might have been, for me.... serves very little purpose.

i am moving on, things are happening so fast right now that it is rather difficult to keep up some times. i lay in bed at night planning, trying to imagine what things will be like in say a month or a year and the excitement i feel takes over and damn... can i sleep... not a chance. I am not one to plan to far ahead, life has a habit of changing all to soon and the plans made become redundant because something that was expected to happen, doesn't and its a matter of redefining it all over again, so i tend to be the sort who, altho i do plan, it is usually only in the foreseeable future, rather than years ahead.

So..to the present

• We, my Master and i are in the process of buying a house... oh the plans i am making in my mind are so exciting, even down to the wall colours and how i am going to plant out this huge garden that is currently a blank canvas.
• MG is about to start a new job, changes are afoot and with each one comes new prospects.
• i received my draft divorce papers yesterday, that wont take long to complete now.
• We are still planning on getting married ASAP, once the above is complete
• i have sorted the "menopausal" problems i was having and the HRT seems (fingers crossed) to be working in my favour

Its all go and the future holds some exciting prospects right now. However, with all that is going on there is never enough time for the spicier things in life and we have had little time for the M/s bits that are fundamental to who we are and will have even less as this new job of MG's is to be weekend working for a couple of months leaving little if any time alone when the children are not here.. but we both have accepted that as a necessary evil right now and i am sure we will find ways of keeping our M/s alive and vibrant. It might take a little more effort on both our parts to incorparate it into what is going to be a very hectic schedule but the fact that we are both aware that we will need to take time out for us in the next couple of months ..is a good way to be right now and i am hoping that we will do that, if things get too hectic and it doesn't happen as outrightly as i might wish it too, so be it, there will be other times and as has so often been said...the M/s is very much a mind thing for us, We know who we are and no amount of distractions or hustle and bustle is going to alter that in any significant way really.

At the end of each day, i am slave to MG, he is Master and that is how it will always be.