i have spent some time this evening mapping out the next couple of weeks and the comings and going of our little family here...
The girls have their fathers side of the family they will wish to see and i would never stop them from doing that and as such, it takes some co-operation between myself and my Ex to arrange times and places and movements of the girls so that they have a good holiday season and an enjoyable one.
Christmas is a time for kids and just because their father and i are no longer together i don't see that is any reason to put obstacles in the way of their happiness and enjoyment. So he and i do try and make it work out so that the girls have the best of both world and we usually do that quite well. i am not one to use the kids and i tend to get along with him for their sakes and i have to say we seem to have worked it all out quite well over the last couple of years. A little time here, a little time there, just takes a bit of organising and co-operation on everyone's part. The main thing is to see that the children have as special a time as we can all make for them. Well that's the idea anyway.
Having made my little map of where and when, with whom and on what day, for the next two weeks, adding into that, when MG is home or off work and when he isn't, i have come to the conclusion that there is only one day or night during the entire 2 weeks when MG and i will be alone, that being Christmas day night, therefore affording us little if any M/s time together over the forthcoming 2 weeks.
The needs i have to serve my Master and i am not talking sexually here but my general need and desire to kneel before him, to react and behave like the slave i am, to wear his slave collar, to be here for his pleasure as and when he requires me to be, is not always an easy thing to do when the children are around and we have tended to keep those times more for when we are alone. It works better that way, without the need to worry about the children and what bearing if any our actions might have on them, so we prefer to keep that side of our relationship well out of their way as we are sure it is best for all concerned.
Thats unfortunately doesn't leave a lot of room for maneuver this next couple of weeks and i am a bit perturbed by that, my desires don't just go away, they cannot just be pushed to one side to long periods of time, on previous occasions when we have had to do that by force of circumstances, we always see a drop in my submissive attitude and a lowering of my self esteem when i cannot perform my duty's as slave to MG.
i add again, i am not referring to the sexual side of our relationship but more the needs of MG's to be dominant and mine to be submissive which altho that runs right through our daily lives, when the children are at their fathers usually, we have a chance to get deeper into that frame of mind and of course, interact in a different way towards one another than we would normally do when the children are at home.
Try as i might to juggle dates and times, i have yet to find that much needed window of opportunity that would allow us, even for a short period of time, to slip into the M./s mode that makes us who we are.
Time will tell, who knows, something may come up, i do hope so...
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