Frustration

Why is it that life has a tendency to kick you when your down, if its not one thing its another, nothing seems to go according to plan or its either all or nowt and right now, its nowt.. nothing is happening as we have planned.

And its soooooooo frustrating..... i have always been the sort of person who thinks, "if you want something doing, do it yourself" because many many times in my life i have had to wait on people and hope they do, what it is they say they will do and in the time frame they have said they will do it in, and far too many times, i have been let down, so i now think that if its that important to me, i'll do it myself. The problem occurs when i have to be reliant on others as i do not have the means to complete my task without their assistance and so i wait or sit and twiddle my thumbs while the world ticks slowly by.....and it's sooooooooooo frustrating.

This applies even to the tasks that MG might set for me, i so much prefer those that are all down to me, that do not require any input from anyone else, that allows me to get on with it and complete it in the time frame allowed to me. If i have to rely on others for information, if (wait for it) i don't have control over the task at hand... then i get so stressed out that the task becomes even more of a focus and not a good one. i would much prefer to have a huge great effort needed on my part and have the whole thing down to me, than have to rely on others, or wait for some piece of information to come my way to be able to complete.

Same goes with life things, having to rely on others, wait for them to do whatever is needed, gets me in a right state.......what am i going on about you might ask... Well, today i finally took the plunge and went to see a solicitor regarding my divorce, MG and i have made plans to wed in June....not a big deal you might say but it is because as yet i haven't divorced my ex and there was i under the misapprehension that a quick divorce would be just that, quick, no such luck...5/7 months so i am told and that doesn't leave enough time for a June wedding...and why so long.

oh...i am told because the court cant get off their asses and sign a few papers put in front of them , with a rubber stamp to say i am no longer married.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. So delayed plans are afoot, forget June, try August or September, no big deal apart from the fact that i wanted a June wedding, so did MG. It was to be on my birthday, 50 years young.

Now...who knows, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr i am so frustrated today