Saturday, April 22, 2006

What i can and what i cannot do..

Here's a thought. it was pointed out to me that i should be pleased with myself in what i can achieve.. i added that that was a lot of my problem these days.i dont see what i can do.. i see what i cant.... example, the lawn needed mowing. i helped sarah but it wasnt as good as i have done in the past... so i see it as a backward effort... not that its an achievement more that i cannot do it as ionce did, that also applies to my M/s, its about what we once had, and what little we have left, i know i should try looking at it and be pleased with where we can still go and in time i am sure i will do that.right now, i pine for what once was, i cant help it, i so feel the loss of many aspects of my life... but thats enough of that i said i dont intend this to become an extension of the recovery blog.

Friday, April 21, 2006

I'm still kicking

haven’t wanted to write here for some time now, i guess because i didn’t want this blog to become an extension of the Road to recovery blog or stroke base as this is my M/s placed... that too has sorta been a bit off the track as well and therefore i had not very much to write about, other than my lack of ability to be the slave i once was, or wish to be. but as has been rightly said submission isn’t just physical so, time moves on, as do we all, life continues at a pace, albeit mine at considerably slower than it was, but altho different, we still retain the M/s, i still submit to Master’s wishes, but, now maybe his wishes have altered, as they tend to be more for my benefit than his, but we are a team, husband/wife.. Master/slave, however one wishes to see the relationship. things change, move on, but we are still us, we still desire to be M/s, its in our heart, so we remain, i try to do what i can, within my rehab Master has a firm grip on me and if nothing else, knows how to extend my limits for my own good, altho maybe not the limits he has pushed before, but limits none the less and of course as i am pushed, i achieve more each day and get better as i develop ways to improve my lot in life, i adapt, my skills as i need to adapt my M/s, only time will tell, how well i am doing, but happy as happy as i can be, i pine for what is lost... but it is lost so we must move forward, continue with what we have and make the best of things.