Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I read in another blog today of a sub struggling with some newly found disabilities and i can so understand from where she’s coming but in the same vein i think i have got my head around submission on a more mental level these days… Here's what she wrote….
”What kind of service is there in needing Master to take care me instead of me caring for Him? i understand that all stable relationships have their own precarious balance of give and take, but in our relationship, as a slave there are (to my way of thinking & feeling) a few absolutes. Number one for me is SERVICE. That is my “thing”, my banner, wave it high. “Can i get You…., Would You like…., Is there anything i can….” are my mantras. Now every time i turn around, i hear those very words spilling like waterfalls from the mouth of the One who used to shoot verbiage like “NOW!” It is unnerving how much our roles have changed. i still feel submissive, but in a different way. He has always called me His “pet”, but now i honestly feel more like a pet than anything else. i mean, before, i could do things, now He’s doing most of them for me. The worst of it is that i an not unable to complete tasks, it just takes me longer and i tire easily. I have too embraced the opportunity to go in new directions, but i have not. i am going to have to find a way to get my head around that. i know this, but i don’t know how & i feel so, SO guilty for all the changes that this is bringing into Master’s life as well.
I had these same thought on my return from the hospital 6 years ago and even today MG still does for me, more than i do for Him, but that’s a joining, a coming together of two loving souls and i have to say that far far outweighs the need for anything D/s.. MG will let me struggle if i really need help i can ask and He will always give me assistance, but still allowing my need to serve Him. Of course our play has mellowed with age and disabilities, but i think i was being naive if i thought I’d still be an hour a night on my knees as i got older, disabilities or not. Funnily enough it was a joke i once laughed at with MG but we are still and will always be Master & slave because i feel it’s an exception to the “actions speak louder than words” rule D/s is all about mindset.And my mind is set, rigid, unwavering on He is Master, i am slave and i'm planning on going to my grave with that mindset