Saturday, March 28, 2009

heart, body, and soul

i sit here and wonder if i am enough to retain the heart of the man who love and adore me, hopefully forever. The man i will forever call Master to my heart, body, and soul.Deep down inside i know that i do all i need to , but i also know there's more and as such i shall continue to improve my abilities to please, there are always things to learn , to improve, no one is ever perfect.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Velcro collar's

So many wear collar's just to wear it. And hey it is their right but it also make me annoyed because i know about earning the right to wear a collar. To be owned. To serve and please my Master. And i guess i feel it "lessens" the meaning of it. For many to see those who play at it. But when you are owned and collared there is a pride of wearing that collar and serving your Master. And because Joanna Blogs thinks it looks good with an outfit and wears it i think lessens the meaning to those looking in.
So now the next question is what does it matter if what anyone thinks as long as you know it.

Well, it diminishes the views for anyone new coming into the scene and those looking in from the outside. They see Joanna Blogs wearing one and might assume she owned and collared when she is not in the deeper sense of the meaning. Maybe they see a slave who is owned but Joanna Blogs was not owned so they hit on that makes for confusion in our D/s community. That confusion creates a lack of respect toward legitimate collars.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

wife v's slave

i think the slave part of my relationship and identity with Master will always be the stronger over the wife part and is the one which primarily guides my actions. The M/s is what our relationship is built on - Luckily i don't see Master ever deciding to turn vanilla, so that shouldn't be an issue, i really can't imagine interacting with Him on a vanilla level as equals.
i see my role as one of being subservient to, dependent on, and taking care of my husband/Master, who is very much the head of the household. He makes all the decisions, He controls the money, That's how i'd like it to be.
Old-fashioned housewife is how i would be vanilla style if the slave part was no more. but i think ill stick to what we have thank you.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

supporting role

i've always felt better in the 'support'/submissive role. Leading stresses me out to be honest. i excel under good leadership
i've find myself in my vulnerability, my submission, my 'support' role. i'm happier when i'm not feeling the pressure to be unnaturally aggressive. i prefer soft and yielding and always have. i've had to puffed myself up sometimes to be 'lil miss aggressive bitch'. Slowly (it's a process let me tell you) letting go of that lets me feel free and Earthy. i feel peaceful, i know who i am.
im the girl that wants to make sure my significant other is as comfortable as can be. i want to provide him with intelligent conversation; i want to stimulate him. i want him to ravish me without a seconds notice; i want to inspire that animalisitc lust. i want him to discipline me when i need it. I want to not fear being weak and vulnerable to him.
i have a man I can look up to and rely upon for honest communication. i want him to laugh with me and cuddle and talk total nonsense. i want to be the warm, soft, and amusing character he can relax with. This is how i show my love - obedience, emotion, my drive to please.

In tune to myself. Helpless? Only to the respectable man I've promised to obey....
my Master

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Less Worries

i realise now that i need to worry less about the future and more about what i am doing now, today, at this moment in order to progress forward. Because as soon as one goal is achieved, there's always another to strive for, and that will carry on forever, as there's no such thing as the perfect slave who can do everything and cannot improve in a single way. There's always some new skill to learn, something i can get better in, something to practice and make progress in.

So i'm actually feeling kind of relieved now that i've come to this realisation, because even if i do make mistakes or 'fail' or muck up, there's always tomorrow when i can try again. As long as i do my best, i should keep moving along the path that’s set, and that's all we can ever asked for, and Master's walking right beside me, discovering and exploring and learning too :) Which i think is much more special and enjoyable than an end-point which you can reach but never progress beyond.

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds. ~Will Durant.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

what i am, what am i?

Pleasing Him is what i am... Time flies by so quickly!so many things we want to do, and where's the time?
i think that as every day, week and month passes, the relationship that He and i share grow's stronger. i don't know if He realizes this, but it just seems that i feel more connected with Him. i find that now i just go with the flow.He makes me feel loved and wanted, He makes me feel special, He makes me feel good..slave to my Master..

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what i am when i am with you." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


My nose is red and swollen and painful. My throat hurts. My sinuses are plugged and running at the same time. Snot drips from my nose and i sneeze a hundred times a day. My neck hurts. My head feels like it weighs a couple hundred pounds.

It just sucks. A lot.

And it’s really hard to be the least bit graceful in service when you’re feeling like shi*.

And, of course, i don’t get any real “break” because i’m sick. not that i want one. cold /flu is no reason to give up/in. but it really hit me how the whole service mentality goes out the window when i’m feeling crappy.

Bad slave. Bad sub. Bad, bad girl.


Human, though.

Sunday, March 01, 2009


How can someone be "the perfect sub"? After all, what a Dom wants in a sub varies from person to person, as does the way in which a sub serves. But I think we can all agree on a few basic issues:

-A good sub obeys her Dom (yes, it's SSC, but still, you follow orders)
-A good sub wants to please: Let's face it, if the sub doesn't want to please her Dom, what's the point? It won't be enjoyable for either party.
-A good sub knows what she wants: This is tricky. It encompasses wanting to please your Dom, as well as knowing your limits and being comfortable with expressing them.
-A good sub trusts her Dom and has proven herself trustworthy in return. There cannot be a mutually healthy relationship if there is no trust, especially in the context of D/s relationships.

Agreed? Ok, so now that we have the basics, how can someone be the perfect sub? In my opinion, this can happen in many different ways. It could be through consistently following Your orders, always being willing to please, or other expressions of continued service. But sometimes, there is one act that can make you realize that it is special. That is when you give of yourself,over your own wants, to please Him.