Thursday, October 30, 2008

i am who i am

i am who i am. slave to my Master.People can take me or leave me. i can't change opinions that are already made up on and if i had to, it's probably not worth my time anyway. I'm pretty comfortable being me. It's not something that affects most people one way or another really. I wonder about things like this sometimes, ya know? Though honestly, I don't care.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

my mind

Our minds are used to thinking, but when we want to become calm and peaceful that is exactly what we have to stop doing. It is easier said than done, because the mind will continue to do what it does. Sometimes we can think to much. Thinking is not always good for me, this i know.i just want to cut off sometimes and stop, the room eats away at me at times and i just want it all to go away but i love being there also. i hate seeing the lifestyle i love eroded into a game.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


i’m hypercritical of my body just like almost every other woman out there, and have found it difficult to overcome. i have recently come to a place of acceptance and i am learning to surrender to it. i am being to understand the art of aging gracefully and accepting who i am. So i will focus on the positive. That i am loved no matter how i continue to move through my life. As a young supple nymph or as a mature, ample woman, i am me, i will always be me and Master love me wart’s and all..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cruise holiday

I want to write it all down.. At the same time, I’m afraid to look too closely as there had been quite a few negative moments, when i knew i was way off the slave I’m meant to be. But i realize i was off very quickly , hopefully corrected myself enough, although I’m not even sure of that.I've not been in the best place during this trip; far too many distractions and nilla people to be me, Master did once or twice pull me up but even that was difficult in a nilla environment for 8 days, some days were easier than other's. Its other days, i had to be careful of. i just know how much i need to be a slave... i am nothing without my submission. i was often insecure in an unknown environment. i hate being insecure, no excuse, i should trust but i got scared of all sorts of things.
We were fortunate to see some fantastic places. i was able to relax a lot at times, others were very fraught. However an experience not to be missed and a few life ambitions ticked of:

Visiting foreign places

i give myself completely, giving You the freedom, to take me places i cannot get to myself. To have experiences i could not ask for.

But now it is time to pick up chores, resettle myself into my life as Your slave

Saturday, October 11, 2008


i don’t need to be beaten/forced into submission i submit willingly, that being said im not perfect and on occasions i have resisted. i chose to become Your slave willingly ,and gave up all rights, within our agreed limits, to decide what i will and will not do. i have on occasions verbally attempted to avoid something and its gets me, precisely nowhere. There has been only one occasion that i can think of where i have attempted to argued my corner, that was the day I was punished, just the once, never to be forgotten.
i didn’t see it coming, hadn’t anticipated it at all so it did come as a shock. i deserve it because i was disrespectful, I couldn't argue that You were unreasonable as You we rent. In fact if anything id say You are way to lenient but that's a whole different ball game. Sir

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


I want to be everything i can for my Master, if he likes certain foods i'd learn to cook them, if he likes belly dancing i’d learn to dance, if he likes certain play i will accommodate.
I choose to one day be a wife, a slave. i choose that, and I'm not some "poor little thing who doesn't know any better", or a fundamentalist. It's not that i haven't gained an education, or that i have no ambition, or that I'm lazy and want some man to take care of me. i choose to be a wife, slave and mother because that is what i love, that is where my goals and heart lie, and it is my right. i see my home as a place of rest and love. A haven from the world, my husband/Master comes home to dinner waiting. i keep my "home running like clockwork. i work no less than any 9-5 drone. i just don’t have the desire to go and process paperwork or merge companies for a living. My job is to take care of my Master and my children.
When i see my life I'm the foundation of my family. i care for my household and my loved ones, and i hope i do it well. There are some great and powerful women worthy of praise, but there are also homemakers too.

Friday, October 03, 2008


There seems to be this misconception out there, in the chat rooms, that as a submissive, you must automatically cater to the wishes of a Dominant, any Dominant. Do this and you will be seen as a "good" submissive. There are some chatrooms that have oodles of protocol before you can even enter a room ie, asking permission, addressing Dominants etc. However, i mean no disrespect, but if you are not my Sir or Master, if i've never met you, you haven't proved to me that you are deserving of that title.
i'm submissive by nature, Don't expect just because i am submissive that you are any better or deserve a title before you earn it. As such, it is people with these unreal expectations that have this blind vision of what a submissive is. They expect this woman sitting quietly, whispering when she speaks, agreeing with whatever opinion is floating around the room at that particular moment.
What a shame of the breaking of human spirit. Why on earth would a Dominant want anything but a submissive who as Master says, "Has a mind and is not afraid to use it." Part of a D/s relationship is a power exchange, not a brain nullification. How boring to not have an opinion. or be able to express yourself. i know, i know... i'm not talking about being obnoxious, or rude. I let Master handle that if needed. i'm talking about sharing in a learning discussion, and not parroting everything a Dominant says. i'm talking about asking questions, getting to an answer that really answers. i've heard it said, that D/s is the only thing that matters, there is no vanilla. Your sub sleeps in another room every night. OK, that's fine.... for you. In MY 24/7 relationship, i WANT to sleep next to Master every night, as He does with me. See my point?

the opinions expressed here are only mine.
have a great day...

Thursday, October 02, 2008


I'm a morning person. Somehow my internal clock insists on me waking up every morning. i can't get back to sleep. i wish i could lay in bed and fall back to sleep.

But i get so much done before 9am.

The solitude,
Well, not exactly the solitude - I gotta have music playing for me to ge on. Still, I won't sing out loud - that's abusive to the environment.
Looking forward to the week of the cruise(October 13-20). It can't come soon enough. A whole week of “us “ time. Gota be good. Relax. No agenda. Suntan my body a bit . I wouldn't complain if I could go all week without speaking to anyone, except Master. Just You and me Sir