As a submissive, or even as a woman in a relationship, i have the right to speak up and discuss what my needs are... and my wants... I trust my Master to hear those needs and wants and to know the difference. If there is a *need* that He can't provide, we talk about it... and decide how important that need is and if im to be allowed to satify that need at that time (so far there hasn't been any He can't provide). The wants are absolutely at His discretion, and He knows it, but it is a way to let Him know where i'm at. A Dominant is expected to tell their submissive what they need and expect, and yet often i see submissives told they are 'topping from the bottom' if they try and return the favour... Perhaps some Dominants are threatened by this behavior.i don't really know...i do know that our relationship is still a relationship and our marriage is like any other marriage. We have to come together as two people who love each other first and make sure we are both feeling fulfilled. That is critical no matter what kind of relationship it is, and just like any other relationship, COMMUNICATION is key.Although... i must say... that when it's little cravings, sometimes just displaying my submission to Him openly and genuinely is all that's needed!