Monday, February 28, 2005
i wanted the "wow" factor... really dont know if i achieved that at all, but i have enjoyed the time spent and i think i am happy with the end result.
i hope others think the same... so new look, but the same old cleo.
Now this task is complete i might just get back to some serious blogging
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
So, here i am to rectify that, the problem is that altho i have some thoughts that i could put into words, they are not ones that inspire me or that have fired me up to the point of needing to make them permanent... other than a thought i had yesterday following the reading of a community board where i saw a post regarding the idea that maybe sub/slaves should look at the responsibilities that being a sub puts on the Master's.
Now this is something that i had not ever really thought about or even considered.
How heavy does that weigh on MG... that responsibility to take the lead and make choices/decisions, not just for himself but for me also.
i find it easy to "pass the buck", its what i need to do, as decision making is not a part of who i feel i am, i hate having to decide, to choose... that is why i give that right over to MG but in doing so i must put pressure on him all the time with even the simplest decision he makes on my behalf. For example, what do i wear, what time do i go to bed, silly mundane incidentals but still decisions that i give MG the right to make. But hey, those lil things he does not decide each and every day, ultimately yes, he "could" decide but i would estimate that it is only on the odd occasion that those examples are actually taken up by him, nevertheless, he still has the ultimate power to decide if he so wishes on any given day. His choice whether to or not but even that is a choice he has to make, another decision on his part.
Lets take something of greater significance, something larger, that has more impact, more bearing on me that he might make a choice on. Example, Have i done something outside my remit that he has to decide whether i have overstep my bounds and if so, what course of punishment/discipline he might consider needs to be taken. The need to correct in itself is a big step for one person to have to take over another, even if that right has been given in submission to ones Master, and having made his choice he then has to follow that through to its conclusion, another demand made on him. Its all a bit one sided in the choices stakes i am thinking and must weigh heavily on any Dominant.
Fine you might say, that is the choice taken when one enters the lifestyle as we have. We have made that choice together, knew what we were both taking on and as such we shall both see to it that we maintain that but still, having thought about this a little i have had my eyes opened to the pressure that my submission places on MG.
Not as if he doesn't have enough on his plate, i go and add more and more to his already heavy burden just by being myself, by being who i am, by being his slave.
Of course, there is the other end of the spectrum, the up side to the down, the giving back or i hope there is in that i try my very best to be all things to MG that he requires me to be. i try to do what he needs, to see to it that he is happy and fulfilled in his Dominance, to see that his needs, whatever they may be are satisfied. My way of given back to him. i hope it balances out, MG says it does, that in his Dominance over me he gains what he needs, the power, the control, the ability to take charge of any situation which is his natural way.
We have descussed how things might be different if we were not Master and slave, would life as we know it be that altered and to be honest, on a day to day basis, we don't think it would, if M/s stopped here and now, would we act any different toward one another.... and here is the crunch folks, the answer is no, we would be just the same because it is who we are, He is and will always be a Dominant force, i will always be the submissive one... because it is what our individual natures demand of us. We cannot change that. Had we never heard of D/s, had we never found that there was such a thing, we would still be who we are and would probably live exactly the way we do now, under the same guidelines as we do now because He is who he is and i am who i am. Putting a name to it doesn't alter anything, all it does is give us a way to explain how we have chosen to live our lives and allows us to perhaps take it a little further on occasions when the mood takes us.
It has been said many times before that if people were to look at the way their Grandparents lived their lives back in the 20/30's the possibility of seeing a D/s relationship at its best would be highly probable. Many people in that era lived as we live, the man of the house taken charge, being the head of the family, the wife, without even knowing it, being submissive to him. It was how they lived, was accepted as the norm. Domestic discipline was also quite normal and no one batted an eyelid when Man of the house would spank his wife for some misdemeanour. It was the way it was. The man had ultimate control over the wife and the household, he made rules she was to abide by and expected those rules to be followed. He had control over finances, made all the decisions regarding the family affairs and the wife would follow his lead without so much as a question asked. i guess that is how MG and i live also.
So maybe we live a life that is from past times to some degree and if that's the case, i am happy to acknowledge that because those days, that way of life, seems to me to be a lot better than the ones many people have now.
It will never be a perfect world, but i have no complaints!!
Friday, February 11, 2005
Following on from yesterdays entry, i find i have a need to send out the warning, yet again and keep saying it until it sinks in. This is not me being bossy or taking a high hand here but rather i hope, try to make some of you think and then think some more.
It has yet again come to our attention that the net is not all it might seem to be. The times we try to instill in people the need for caution when meeting someone from the internet. The tried and tested rules of safe meetings, the Do's and Dont's and yet still, for some reason, people throw caution to the wind and land themselves in situations that just scream "Danger"
It is so easy to get sucked in, it is so easy to believe because you want to believe and before you know it, you end up in ER or some other emergency room somewhere around the world, No one is exempt, no one is truly safe so please, follow the guidelines, take care of yourself, no one else will.
Below is a list of the sort of information you should consider finding out about the person you are going to meet.
Name (real name) of the person you are meeting
- Home Address (Has this been confirmed in any way)
- Work address (Has this been confirmed)
- Home phone/Mobile Phone
- Have you got their photograph
- Car Make, Colour and Registration Number
- Their e-mail address
- The chatname and room you know them from
- Your Meeting Arrangements (Date of the Meeting/Time/Place)
- Will you only be there?
- Will you go anywhere else?
- Do you know the area?
- How are you traveling there?
- How are you traveling home?
- What time do you expect to be home?
- Do you know the location and number of the local police station.
- Have you agreed any special arrangements with the person you are meeting?
- Who have you told about these arrangements.
Use the safecall system however it works for you, find out about who you are thinking of meeting.
Here are 10 rules to follow.
1. Have their real name, address, phone number and place of employment. Tell the person you are meeting that you have arranged a Safecall. Do NOT tell them what arrangements you have made, just that you have ensured your safety. Again it is worth stressing that if they are genuine they will be happy to hear this. Also tell them that you have passed their details to a third party who is going to act as your Safecall. Remember they may also do the same.
2. Let someone you know and trust know what you are doing. Give them the information about the person you are going to meet. Set up your Safecall for a specific time. The Safecall can work in two ways. Either you can phone your Safecall or they can phone you (or both). After you have made the call set up another call for a later time. (Have a code word so if you need help you'll have it).
3. Make sure that your Safecall Designate has your itinerary. Do NOT change your plans at all.
4. Meet in a public place where there will be plenty of people around if you should require assistance, whatever you do, do not take them back to your home however secure you think you might be.If people are intent on preying on the unsuspecting, this is just the course of action they are hoping for.
5. After you meet take time to talk and get comfortable with this person. If you can't get comfortable this may not be a good situation. Question yourself. Do I feel comfortable? Do I wish to continue? If not stop it there and leave.
6. Don't use alcohol or drugs, this is a time you may need a clear head to think quickly.
7. If the situation gets out of hand find a reason to leave, or a way out. Don't stay thinking it will only get better. Chances are it won't
8. When you do leave make sure you are not followed. If you feel that you are being followed then go to the nearest Police Station. Alternatively stay in a busy public place and call the police.
9. Remember it is easier to walk away before a situation gets out of hand.
10. Only accept what you have negotiated for the first meeting. Frankly, first meetings should only be a "getting to know you" situation.
Remember that a Safecall is not a requirement of a first meeting only. Your safety is always important so Safecalls ought to be used for at least three or more meetings. As you feel more comfortable by all means relax the way they operate. Two or three meetings down the line and simply a call to say you are there, and all is ok will suffice, but don't assume that because the first meeting was wonderful the second will be too.
Your safety should be first and foremost. You should never take it for granted. If you do you may be the next one beaten, abused or even worse, dead. These are strong words but if the other person is serious about you they will understand. Most people that you meet are good decent people. Never take safety lightly. This is not a reason for fear but a time to think and follow through.
Always remember: You only get one chance at life.
Please people, take care, take time and wait if things are not exactly as you think they should be, don't let your needs or desires make you stop thinking about the very basic rules of life and survival.
For more information on safecalls and how to arrange meetings, please view the Safecall site of D/s seekers
"Ensure Your own safety, no one else will "
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
i knew of a sub who was "talked" into being used at a play party, she was to be publicly flogged and agreed to this after some pushing and shoving from some sub friends. She had not had any previous experience and so didn't have any idea of her limits even. She was bound and flogged and admitted afterwards that altho she was screaming inside...never said a word out of fear of looking stupid. Why are they so afraid to use safeword? Why do they put themselves into these situations in the name of D/s ?
i cannot believe that those who play with unknowns can either trust or be trusted, to not overstep limits because they don't know those limits.
This leads me on to the subject of monogamy or lack of it within D/s and the state of more is better than less. Personally i like to see subs who haven't been through the mill...says a lot more about them in my estimation, it says they have standards. Its must be demeaning to ones self to submit to anyone.. and then have it end because they really found out that person was not who/what they said they were, its bad enough online... one would think real life would be taken a little more seriously but alas no... for some its the same
i think that the subs that go through Doms as fast as they change their knickers do nothing but harm to this lifestyle...apart from the bit about safe sex etc...the thought that this or that sub has slept with/had sex with 20 different blokes in as many months, outside of D/s she would be called a tart or a slapper or some such name so why is it so acceptable within D/s
"Hey, i have a new Master. That's number 5 this year, but it didn't work out" and it seems to be ok and even...."oh..you were with Dom X, what is he like"..as if the fact that he had a previous sub is good, and i never except the excuse that after a month or so they grew apart, i thought the basis was growing together.
In nilla circles if a girl sleeps around she is outcast or named, its not to her credit, but in D/s, it seems as if its a must somehow, maybe one day she will find out, look deep and re evaluate herself, lets hope its not too late and god forbid she catches something from one of these Doms because talk about totally unsafe sex, the Dom that has been with 10 different females, she with 10 different males, hey..What's the problem....not...!!
What also concerns me are play parties where you find subs playing with some bloke they met not an hour earlier, don't know him from Adam and they think nothing of letting this man shove his hand in the most private of places, no idea if he is clean, had a wash, has touched another, the mind boggles, such stupidity !!
i seriously hope that these people get themselves regularly tested for STD's cause 7 years is the incubation period for something like AID's that's a long time to wait and have it come back to haunt you. If these females are not strong enough to say "sod off" when something as obviously dangerous and out of all sensibility is put before then then it is their fault what befalls them but to do it under the banner of D/s or to prove to whoever that they are "sub" just baffles me totally.
Then you have the sub who is totally besotted with a Dom she has met 3 weeks before, is prepared to give up all she has, move thousands of miles away from home and family and then wonders why 2 months later he dumps her, leaving her high and dry in some place she is a stranger too, with no means of finding her way back, having found out that they are totally incompatible. Stupid you would say, what possessed her, what was she thinking... don't ask me because this baffles me more than anything else we see done under the guise of BDSM.
The sheer stupidity of some peoples actions is beyond belief or comprehension sometimes but woo betide anyone who tries to tell these people that they are heading for a disaster, but still we continue to try and suggest people stand back and take a serious look at just exactly they are letting themselves in for in the name of Dominance or submission
Sunday, February 06, 2005
i said to MG at the time, had this happened to any one else it would have been past off as just one of those things, but for us Master and slave, it has proved a good point to bounce from.
i thought i might write about it here because it shows, in the very basic form, just how an M/s relationship works, real life, real time, 24/7
If i might explain. Lil insignificances that make a whole, let me cut a long story short here....
Friday i had to go shopping, i was to collect the rent for payment on Saturday morning. i took this from the bank as always and would normally have come home and that was that. However, there was waiting at the chemist a prescription for MG which i thought i would also collect while i was about the town. All that done, i continued on my way, on this day, to school to collect our lil one knowing that i needed to put fuel in the car for MG to go to work the next evening but having purchased the medicine for MG, had i put petrol in the car i would have been short for the rent on Saturday, so i didn't fill the car up.
Saturday morning comes and there is not a drop of fuel in the car and unlike normal, where i would do it myself and have it ready for MG to drive to work, i asked if i should and he said "N0 leave it, ill do it on the way out" Simple you would think, not so....
The garage was out of unleaded.... not a drop... he drives to the next one (on an empty tank)..CLOSED.... this meant he now has to back track, in the wrong direction some 5 miles to another garage, still on empty and running on fumes i guess. He made it but was now 15 minutes late setting out for work, had got himself into a stress over the whole thing and ended up with a headache to boot and really, at the base level, because i messed up. i should have filled the car, it is one of my responsibilities to see to these things and i didnt, i let myself and MG down and caused unnecessary stress all round.
The moral is...
- slave should have filled the car up before it got to empty....
- There is never a need to be without money for emergencies
- Always take Credit card out with slave.
MG has made it a requirement now, that i do not ever leave the house without my phone and my Credit card, because i do, quiet often, as i tend not to think about things like emergencies or what's if's, i think its called " blonde moments"
i was not punished for my lack of thought as with hindsight one could say that i was not to know that the garage would be out of fuel, and MG had said he would do it himself, but i feel i let MG down and put him under considerable stress and strain, unnecessarily. It wont happen again.
It is one of my responsibilities to see that the car if fueled ready for him to drove to work, its what i do, look after his well being and the lil incidentals such as this.
i can chuckle at the whole thing now but at the time, it was no laughing matter but if nothing else, MG and i have found just one more "requirement" for this slave that her Master insists on and woo betide me if i do not comply with the instruction.
Just base level, day to day M/s at work.
Friday, February 04, 2005
i imagine that if one allows oneself to remain in a pit of black goo and not make any attempt to get out of it, you could stay there indefinitely, but nah.... thats not for me and as has been said to me often of late, life is too short to be unhappy/miserable etc, so best get up and ever onwards, no point in staying in the same old place day after day.
Having said that, how come the mood i have been in has lifted and i can see clearer now. Nothing worth writing home about has happened other than just me, sitting down and acknowledging that it is no good brooding on what i feel i don't have, and making the best of what i do. Ohhhhh been in this same place a few times before i know and each time i have to dragged myself right back here, kicking and screaming and see my world for what it is and be happy with what i am/have etc because to be honest folks, this slave has it made to all intense and purpose.
i go without very little, i have a Master who adores me, and i, him in return, i have two well balanced, happy, secure kids who give me little cause to worry about them, i have a roof, warmth, food on the table, a life in fact that many would be only to happy to swop with me... so once again, its time to stop with the moping and be happy with my life and stop complaining about what i don't have/get. ( very little in fact)
i suppose if i were to analyze what it is i feel i am lacking, if i had to put it into one word, it would be, time... time to do what it is i wish to do, with who i wish to do it with, time to be who i am, without restrictions of daily life and the never ending daily struggle of just trying to get along. Time to enjoy the fruits of all the hard work MG does to provide a better way of life for us all but like so many things, its just not always possible to have what we want, when we want it.
Time to be with MG more than i can be at present and time to be the slave i wish to be without having to worry about mundane life chores...thats my greatest wish, the desire i have at present and if it were at all possible, i am sure it is where we would be...but
oh well, i have to live the life i am dealt and a very happy one it is, in the main.....so...onward i go...always looking forward for the next idea, the next pleasure, the next moment that thrills me to the very core and takes me on a trip that no-one else has ever experienced, for my dreams are mine and will always be and i travel my path with my Master and kids and that in itself is my greatest joy.