Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Child In Me

i could give a complicated explanation, but what would be gained by that?

The child ... there in every urge to stomp my foot. Whether i actually do, or just mimic the motion by jerking my leg without ever taking my foot from the ground. i can even stomp my foot in bed ...

a sudden, controlled release of stress.
There when I've stayed up too late, and want to be tucked softly into bed. And there when i don't want to go to bed yet or i have to wake too early (hence the perfection of the foot stomp in bed!)

There when I'm too tired to answer questions, too needy to make decisions or even make sense and frustration is threatening to overwhelm me.
There in every playful, silly moment. When i want to giggle a lot, or need to just be silly ...

She is there in each moment that i want to be taken care of, in a hundred different ways, for whatever reasons. She is there ... that child part of me, and she is welcome. i may only have recognized her as i began to explore and understand the 'needy' part of me, but that in no way tarnishes or diminishes her importance.
She is there, living comfortably alongside the woman i am, unafraid, because i have learned to let that child inside me be. i've learned that i am a physically, mentally and emotionally strong woman. Capable of much more than i ever thought possible, and she is part of all of that.

A huge part of the peace i feel surrounding this child in me. One small part of a wonderful whole.

i used to worry that this part of me was somehow a ... repercussion of/to the D/s needs i was exploring ... a cause perhaps. Something missing ... something missed as a child. Something ... unnatural.

But ... no worries!
i may still sometimes wonder about her, but there is no shame. When i give in to that part of me, i don't give up any of the responsibility of my life, or let down those that depend on me. Somehow, her presence better enables me to be all that i am in every part of my life ... to live up to the things i feel matter the most ...

know yourself, live honestly, love completely.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

perfect slave

i have often been called a "perfect" slave, which, to me, means that i give it my all, not that i never screw up.
i have given Master power in exchange for freedom, but even that seeming inequality is less dramatic than it appears on the surface. We do not have equal power, but we have equal value as human beings. and we know, that when the times comes to pull out all the stops and be there for the other, in whatever capacity the situation demands, we can always count on the other.He worries about pleasing me, often ignoring his best instincts, and as a result, leaves us both dissatisfied, because i cannot be satisfied if he is not.When he follows his instincts, and behaves as a compelling, leader. He commands respect and deference from me, and in receiving them, he feels loved and valued.

But the point is, both our lives have been greatly enriched by behaving towards each other in ways that may seem silly to an outsider, but absolutely natural to us both.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

i know what you want

i know how much you want to hold the woman who wants you to make love to her. To take her in your arms knowing that it is just the start of the journey and the eventual destination is wet and wanton and wicked.

You want to feel her press her breasts into your chest, run her hands over your body, demonstrate her desire for you. Her lips soft and warm against your face. Her tongue wrapping around yours and burying itself deep inside your mouth. Hear her breathing quicken as your fingers find her nipples and squeeze. You want to rip her clothes off and have her return the favour. Feel her naked flesh against yours, her arms around your neck, hard nipples thrusting into your chest, thighs gripped around your waist, cunt opening for you, soft and slick against your belly. Wanting, lusting, begging for you... i hope sir

Tuesday, July 07, 2009


Very rarely does Master order me.He has a tendency to ask and say please, i smile. He knows i know though. i knows that a request from Him, is absolutely an order.

Forgetting to do something that is requested, or ignoring it, or being bratty about it doesn’t get an immediate reprimand or punishment. It will usually get a grin, a little laugh, but it should always be remembered and in time, dealt with.

i enjoy it that way. i like Master to whisper that He remembers into my ear when we are out in public.. i like the look in his eye when He reminds me of an earlier request. i like the way He makes me flinch the tiniest bit when He tell me Hes not pleased in some way.

Anticipation. !!