Tuesday, May 25, 2010

darkest moments

The darkest moments of our lives are not to be forgotten, rather they are memories to be called upon for inspiration to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit and our capacity to overcome the intolerable.

Our time is limited, so don't waste it. Have courage, follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want. Everything else is secondary. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. i'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that i loved and that i love . find what you love. Our lifestyle is going to fill a large part of our days, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to live what you believe is a great way of life. And the only way is to love what you do. If you put your mind to it and you believe it, you can achieve anything, everything. You cannot give up -- even if the road is a tough road.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Time Marches on

My theory is that each of us has within us, desires/wants/needs... to give and receive love and attention cause believe it or not even a man, even a Dominant gives, its not all about the sub giving and the Dom taking, not if the D/s is being done properly. Follow your desires and you are likely to end up with a pretty good and satisfying relationship. D/s is an extension of a normal loving relationship where there is give and take, that both are needed to keep an even balance between the two parties and so that they compliment one another. Add to that the D/s factor of absolute trust and total commitment and you have the foundation of a solid unbreakable bond between two human beings. Does this make one partner better than the other, more able to live life in a proper manner, better equipped to face what the big bad world has to throw at them, i don’t think so. Master or sub/slave, i am sure both are quite capable of living life, making decisions etc, the difference is that a sub chooses not to have to do that and is more content to give that responsibility over to another.

We have to be careful tho, not to fall into a rut and end up in a comfort zone where it is so easy to just let each day pass by without us even noticing. Comfort zones are those place where it is easier to just sit back and accept what we have as happy, when what we really have is nothing short of boring existence because we are too lazy or too bored or just plain cant be bothered to alter things.

We all change, nothing ever stands still, over time we develop new ideas, new beginnings etc but whatever it is we do, time has a habit of moving on with or without our knowledge or permission, we have to be aware that it happens and try our best not to become complacent and let things ride or before any of us know it, we are in the cirle of round and round we go and wouldnt life be really boring, if it was always the same, (the film Ground Hog Day springs to mind, the same day over and over again with the predicted result every time). That’s not for me. Things have to move on, they have to progress to bigger and better, they have to evolve, however...

Seems like only yesterday that my kids were little. Now, i have two very nearly grown young ladies, problem with that is a) i want my lil babies back cause they were really cute when younger, b) if they are growing up, where does that put me.. in the "old" bracket, that’s where !

Seriously, i could say that with age comes experience and all that stuff about been there done that but what i really wanted to say was this...

If i had the chance to do it all over again, would i... not a chance, even the shite bits i am happy with and ill tell you why, because it all, down to the really crappiest bits have made me, who i am, and who i am has moulded my life to where it is right now.. with Him, with the man i love, with my Master, with my submission, with my life just as i would wish it to be.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Non negotiable

i am submissive but submissive only to my Master. i think i am also, highly opinionated, infuriatingly out spoken at times and not very good at diplomacy but all that aside... what i am NOT, is someone who will simply follow the crowd.
i feel it is becoming more difficult and time consuming to keep beating my head against the wall, trying to help others, and at the same time defend our reality when so many people and places we once frequented now prefer fantasy. As far as i am concerned, it is a waste of my time. But we must not turn our back on those who may wish to learn about the lifestyle. It is depressing to remain where some are turning this lifestyle into a joke, and only for those who truly wish to learn about all that is good in this lifestyle we love...is it worth the effort to remain...other than that i would quite happily switch of my computer and never enter a chat room or community again... my life with my Master and the kids and if...and i say a definite if....if we have time..we shall give a little back... but only after we have given all we can to one another and the children.

Real life comes before anything else..that’s non negotiable, that’s how it has to be, our time together seems to get shorter, i'm not going to waste it on those who have no care or thought beyond their own. We give and we give more but how much more and for how long? Who knows, we are just the people we have always been, we do what we do, for ourselves, our family and for those truly who want to learn.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

MY Best Friend





I never had no one
I could count on
I�ve been let down so many times
I was tired of hurtin�
So tired of searchin�
�til you walked into my life
It was a feelin�
I�d never known
And for the first time
I didn�t feel alone

You�re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
I don�t know where I�d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You�re my best friend
You�re my best friend, oh yeah

You stand by me
And you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You�re right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble
When we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love

You�re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don�t know where I�d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You�re my best friend
You�re my best friend

You�re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don�t know where I�d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You�re my best friend
You�re my best friend (my best friend)
You�re my best friend (my best friend)

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Fetishes

Shoe's or leather or both. Leather is a fetish, so the BDSM scene will tell you, shoes and the accompanying feet are also a fetish so i guess it is ok to put then in the same blog as a single entity.
Fetishes.
There are some out there that would make your hair stand up on end and then there are those that a lot of people are involved in, of course, to the nilla world they are all just plain kink and are sick and depraved but within the lifestyle, your kink is yours and as long as you are happy with it, who is to say that it is wrong. my kink certainly isnt going to be the same as yours or anyone else's and as long as each is practised with the SSC code in mind, then enjoy yourself and do whatever it is that satifies the urge in you.
The list is endless, well not quite, but it is certainly long and with many a variation and it would be wrong of anyone to say that any kink, whatever its nature is anything other than the pleasure of the person involved ( i do draw the line of course at the yukky ones ie beastiality, incest, children etc, as do all true and honest lifestylers, these has no place within the realms of the lifestyle).
Age play, Asphyxiation play, Blood play, Chastity, Control scene, Daddy/Mummy, Degradation, Dirty sports, Discipline scene, Dog & Master scene, Domination scene, Edge play, ElectricityPlay, Enemas, Exhibitionism, Extreme play, Fantasy Play ....endless but each a valid feitsh to the person whom it holds a fasination for Fetish. Anything, which has been, invested with special sexual significance, e.g. Latex, Leather, Rubber, Silk, PVC, Uniforms, Boots, etc. It may also include also certain smells (e.g. of underclothes) and possibly tastes.
Fetishist.
A person with a strong fetish.

Fetish scene. The fetish community, a group which includes people with a tolerance of, and often an interest in, BDSM. Many BDSMers have found that being part of the fetish scene is considered more acceptable to outsiders than being part of the BDSM scene.
So my liking for shoes and leather makes me one of those i guess, and very proud of it i am too...only isue is now my shoe passion cannot be fulfilled as my practical need for shoes that i can actually walk in far far outweights the fetish one, however i have keep all my stillettoes hoping one day maybe ill get to wear them gain(unlikley, but whats life without dreams)

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Life is too short

I give my submission to MG.. What does that mean... everything and nothing special really, not to anyone else anyway. However, for me and i am the only one that it has any bearing on, it says, Master, i want to be with you, i want to please you, i want to take care of you, i want to be there every minute of every day to make sure that every need, desire, whim, you name it... if there is any way that in being here beside you that i can enhance or fulfil or satisfy any one of those items, then, i am here and i am ready willing and able to do whatever it takes to see that you are happy.
Is that submission, Is that slavery? Is that a kink? Who knows... but for me it is what i have and what i offer and i am lucky in that MG wants that from me.
And in return... what do i get..( woo, is that very submissive, maybe not, but why shouldn’t i get something out of this relationship, i’ll tell you this, if i was not getting something back, i would be out of here in a flash and i challenge anyone to say they would stay in a relationship that was totally one-sided.) i get love and companionship and care and warmth etc......... i get a relationship that is so deep and so loving and whether i am submissive or MG is Dominant, who really gives a fig because at the end of the day, it works for us and we are happy and if we throw in a little or a lot of kink or D/s or BDSM while we get on with the life we have chosen to lead, and luckily we do and we both want that... is anyone going to say or label me as one thing or another... sure, if you want to...call me sub, call me slave, say i am not D/s... doesn’t make one jot of difference to how MG and i live our lives.
i know D/s couples, online and real time, i know single Dom, i know single subs, i know single vanilla females and males, i know married vanilla couples, i know some who are just starting out on the life road and some who have been around for years... makes little difference who they are, what does make each unique is the choice they make for themselves, in the way they wish to live their lives and i for one am not about to say that one way is better or that what each chooses for themselves is right or wrong.
Enjoy whatever it is you have, call it whatever you wish because life is too short to worry about semantics. At the end of the day does it really matter, what we are called or what the definition of submissive or slave is. Does it really matter whether it's a total power exchange or bedroom D/s or public play, or if you live in a Dom/me/sub, Dom/me/slave relationship as long as each and every one of us is happy with the choices we have made.
Life is too short to worry about what other people think, i have found that out, to my cost sometimes, but not any more. ... i am cleo, slave to MG, mother to my children and very happy i am too.