Tuesday, December 18, 2012

♥RIP my Darling ~ you were, are, and always will be my Love ~ ♥

2 month pass, one day at a time < It's like you never left, 
A constant that inhabits my heart
A sense that has been.

What a man, This man of mine.
Just one last touch, holding his hand,
and hearing his voice,
This I do crave!

But now he is gone,
no more to see.
But I will just bet,
He's waiting for me

Just look around,
His memories you will see,
and above all,
I know he is waiting,

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Time to say GoodBye my darling

Blessed be

You came and touched so many hearts
In so many different ways.
You gave so much, and asked very little in return.
But I am sure with time you will show me how to be whole again.
 I know you are safe now, and nothing can harm you.
Remember, although we're apart,
We will always be together

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

With Knowledge, We Grow

With Knowledge, We Grow.
We enter this world with nothing: no hate, no fear, no prejudice, no cares or worries, and no hidden demons.
Only as we experience life do these things become part of us.
We should aspire to keep them at bay, and to be better today than we were yesterday.
The spine which should support us all should consist of love, of self-control, of trust, respect, and of course, honesty.
Without these things we are nothing.
Through our experience we learn to choose whether we will be good, or bad, and those choices are reflected in how others see us.
Make those choices wisely, for if you do, you will be loved by others, and comfortable in yourself.
Do not judge, for others may judge you the same. Have an open mind, and a gentle demeanor, for in all things the good in you will shine through, as long as you let it.
Do not pretend to be something you are not. If others cannot accept you for who you really are, they may not be worthy of knowing you anyway.
With Knowledge, We Grow. Live this way and at the right time you may leave this existence at peace with yourself, and the rest of the world.

  written by MG back in 2006

Friday, October 26, 2012

Memory Lane

"Footfalls echo in the memory, Down the passage which we did not take, Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden.”
~T.S. Eliot

This slave finds a wistfulness for both what was, as well as what was "not". What "was" went too soon. The seasons change,time slips by and with each passing year this one longs to hold onto summer's fleeting days, reminding me of youthful laughter and warmth and pleasure.
The freezing of those perfect moments when they graced us is sadly impossible, time marches on, no matter what, we can but try to hold in memory every second and allow it to fill our soul to sustain during the chill and darkness.

Slavery's moments change as do all moments. My wistfulness comes due to lack of understanding of the impermanence of time. The moment which mark this slave's soul and heart keeps me forever bound to my Master even when the mark is no longer present on the flesh.

Re posted from December 2010: MG was so pleased with this post In His memory i re post now
 Rest Peacefully now my darling my memories will hold you close always

Alter bridge- Watch over you

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, which is why it is called the present. 

What the caterpillar perceives is the end; to the butterfly is just the beginning. 
Everything that has a beginning has an ending. 
Make your peace with that and all will be well

Monday, October 22, 2012


There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.".Washington Irving

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Life moments

How long is a man's life, finally?
Is it a thousand days, or only one?
One week, or few centuries?
How long does a man's death last?
And what do we mean when we say, 'gone forever'?
Adrift in such preoccupations, we seek clarification.
We can go to the philosophers,
But they will grow tired of our questions.
We can go to the priests and the rabbis
But they might be too busy with administrations.
So, how long does a man live, finally?
And how much does he live while he lives?
We fret, and ask so many questions
Then when it comes to us
The answer is so simple
A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us,
For as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
For as long as we ourselves live,
Holding memories in common, a man lives.
His lover will carry his man's scent, his touch:
His children will carry the weight of his love.
One friend will carry his argument,
Another will hum his favourite tunes,
Another will still share his terrors.
And the days will pass with baffled faces,
Then the weeks, then the months,
Then there will be a day when no question is asked
And the knots of grief will loosen in the stomach,
And the puffed faces will calm.
And on that day he will not have ceased,
But will have ceased to be separated by death.
How long does a man live, finally?

Friday, October 19, 2012

R.I.P my darling

19.7.1956 - 18.10.2012

My Master Past away on 18th October 2012 after almost a year fighting a battle with cancer that he could never win. i had sat at his side for 7 weeks and if i could have taken His place,  removed His pain  i surely would have but my lot in life is to be the one left behind to carry on.
 and i shall and make Him proud of me.so i begin a new phase of my life without my soul mate, without my Master. how will i cope, right now i have absolutely no idea.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Even Keel

Oh i am so bad for not coming here more often but my life seems to either be up in some cloud 9 cuckoo land or deep in the grand canyon, never ever for more than a week or two on any thing like an even keel.
Times when in pasts i've wish for more time with MG, times Hes wished to be at home , all these wishes, once before i had cause to reconsider my desires, what i wished for  and now here we are 8 months on and due to His ill health we are at home together, fighting the Cancer demon. Last November following a very minor health scare we followed the course as you do and ;February He was diagnosed with Bladder cancer, since then we have experienced chemotherapy, radiotherapy and emergency surgery on a broken humerus,  hair loss, weight loss, pain the use of a whole lot of Morphine among other controlled drugs.where this leave us is, well in an upside down situation from where we knew we could survive, cope etc Work has stopped for Him, way to many hospital appointments, too much tiredness and pain to cope with without the added pressure of a 12 hour work shift so we now tread the benefit trail in an attempt to financially maintain our way of life, so far its not going to badly, we are far from destitute.As for our lifestyle, we remain as always Master and slave, we continue to look after each other in more ways than one now, together we are a formidable team and will not go down without a fight We will beat this new challenge.. together as always. BUT we do now have the time to be together , to do the things, follow the few rituals be who we are, our girls have left home so we are alone , together and so we are making time to rekindle some of what time has taken from us, neither of us are under any illusion that we can get back to where we once were within our own M/s but we are sure we can go a fair way into living the life once more. i'm not going to wish, I've done that before and my wishes have been granted but at what cost!!!!!!

Saturday, February 18, 2012


she swims an ocean of tears, navigating her pain with a graceful eloquence reserved for the most majestic of beings.
Solace is found herein, measured by depth within the flowing ease, knowing the real, so far away, is dull and harmless.Her soft satin skin unencumbered by the scars of past affliction, a contention never to be removed from the silk of her creation.
Her soul as tender as a first kiss, the kind that retains the unspoken promise therein.
She holds her head high as her soul drowns in dreams of yesterday, Choking on the remembrance of the life she was supposed to have, the one dreamed when dreams were still safe.
Her tumultuous spirit at war with the very idea of hope, begging to be heard, to be seen, to be felt.