Monday, January 28, 2008

Trust & Faith

The word "trust" is used to describe what is needed in order to submit.But what about when the trust is real?...really, really, real. Trust so strong that there are no limits as to what one will share.i trust Master like so strong and devoted that i can not even compare it to anything else..or to anyone else.Certainly trust is required with giving myself over to be hurt, to be used, to be subjected to question, it is imperative to be able to know i am in good hands. Knowing i can handle and at times endure painful situations. Yet, it goes deeper than just the physical. A pain slut, is a pain slut, is a pain slut, so submitting to a rather difficult session is easier for some than others and as such doesn't require as much trust .

What i find the most, comforting, is the trust that i have that goes beyond being able to trust someone who beats me.Sharing so much with Him, knowing that He will protect me . That He knows it is for exclusively His. i give it to Him because i want Him to have it all....i have the utmost faith in Him that what i give to Him, is appreciated, cared for, and gives Him pleasure. It is why i am here and because of course because i love Master and want only the very very best for Him.

Friday, January 25, 2008

i am woman

i am woman.With a woman's needs. The need of a strong man to hold me up when i'm weak, to care for me when i'm needy, to pick me up when i fall and to have my back when bad is out to get me.The need to be pampered once in awhile and to be touched with love and softness.i'm a woman.i'm soft inside for all my strength.And i'm fragile inside for all my hulking, graceless size and bulk and hobble.
i'm slave for all that by choice because for all that Master is everything i know i need and a lot more that i didn't know i needed. He is my light in the dark, my rock when my own foundations crumble, the soft pillow when im tired of the world,but most of all a big soft cuddly teddy bear who can growl real loud when im straying . Master love You forever. Thank You Sir for just being there.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Good Girl

Many slaves enjoy being good girls or at least being called a “good girl.”

For me i think it is because being called a good girl lets me know i am pleasing Master...and doing what i need to serve Him well. Internally it hits those buttons that longs for approval.

Do you like being a good girl or do you like being called a good girl? both. i like being a good girl and pleasing Master. But i also like when He says i am a good girl.

Do you like being a bad girl to get a spanking?

no. If i want a spanking, i ask/beg/plead... then He decides if he wants to give me one or not. But acting out to get one isn't my thing.

Do good girls do all this other stuff they enjoy? oh yes! i am a good girl that likes to be a slut and well, if it pleases Master

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

love and marriage

It is not my intent to suggest that I am a "true" submissive. i only write of what submission means to me and its place within my life and home. It is a link in my marriage, but only one of many. Without my deep friendship with and respect for Master, there would be no possibility of my submission to him. Our relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect and is lavishly sprinkled with love. I believe that we were meant to be together. I feel that we have always loved each other. As far as I am concerned, we were led to one another five years ago. Otherwise, it was a fluke that we ever met, Our introduction was meant to be. This is a love that was written before time began. It will never die.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


I feel that communication is not only a valuable, but an essential tool in any relationship M/s or otherwise. For me as long as slave communicates her needs/concerns in a manner that is respectful to Master, it should be allowed. i am glad that my Master, allows free speech, i am free to say whatever i need to say and to whom i wish . Do others have the right to express opinions that differ with mine? Sure they do and i love hearing them. Gives me a lot to think about.i am as true to my beliefs,as i can be if i'm confused, i'll ask for clarification. i'll not just assume that something is this way or that. Truism(one true way) isn't a part of my thinking, but being true to myself is, which is why i'm a slave because it is who and what i am.My ultimate goal

To always be true to my MASTER, To live a life of service. And, to be true to myself.

Your slave

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

slut by name, slut by nature

The hope to be pleasing. The desire to comply. The love of obedience. And the helpless hunger for pain. The inescapable craving for pain. my honest desire to be a good slave. i must need to be punished every day of my life for all and every failing, not that I’d intentionally fail You because my greatest desire is to please but if i’m found too slow or that i’m being lazy, i'm never really sure but i cant be that good a slave to not warrant punishment, i want to be punished but hate deserving it, because it means i've fail You. My slavish needs are far too strong for me to ever intentionally earn punishment. Nonetheless at times i melt at the thought of Youtelling me off. I want You to be strict about the ways i am to please You. To never fail but to correct for each and every thing You require of Your slave. It is my nature to relish Your pleasure-Punishment is probably only possible between us within a formal/private setting. Rules might serve the purpose of shaping slave behaviour to match Your wishes. They also increase the likelihood that I will fail: memory, tardiness, sloppiness may leave me at fault. i want Your control, to never be displeasing and - yet - Your discipline One leads to another, either way i fail, me or You i'd rather fail me so i guess im not going to get the spanking i need soon.!! i realise we have quite serious thoughts behind discipline and punishment, im happy with either right now Sir, Yes i know slut by name, slut by nature Sir .

Your slave

Saturday, January 05, 2008

am i real ?

am i real? i read a few blogs and generally when i do, i take them at face value. i believe that what i am reading is a fairly accurate account of what happened in someones life, simply because what i am reading is a blog and not erotic fiction. While i understand that even the best of us exercise a touch of poetic license on occasion to improve on our literary leavings, i cling to my belief that a blog is a glimpse into a real and not imaginary life.i used to get quite upset when i read about someone who is 'better' than me by taking a more solid beating or by being more slavery in some way. For some reason, the competitive streak in me always wants to feel that i'm much more a slave than anyone else. Of course, that's not true in any way shape or form and i am working on stopping the 'comparison cycle', but i still do feel jealous.It has often dawned on me to think that what i was reading might not be real- that it might just be someones little fantasy played out on the pages of a blog. It had also never dawned on me to be anything less than brutally honest about my life here, so i assumed that everyone else was the same. It kind of feels wrong to pass something off as real that is not.Now, i'll be the first to admit that i don't post pictures that show fat bulges. i also don't go into great lengths about the just how much i might suck as a slave , but i also don't parade around as 'Miss Slavery 2007/8'. i try to keep things in balance and show an overall view of the realities of D/s in my life. Although i try to keep the realities of my vanilla life to a minimum in this blog it doesn't mean that they don't exist and it certainly doesn't mean that i clean the house in a maid's outfit and stilettos or spend twenty two hours a day on my knees. I have a life and D/s is but a part of it.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

rest easy mel

The loss of one so young, makes the world a cruel place terri (melova)was a sweet girl even tho 26, she had put up with so much in her short life, it was never going to be easy, but she rarely complained, and just at the time of year when we all look forward she looses her fight, how much sorrow i feel that i might also not have been there for her at her greatest time of need, a sister in the lifestyle. she will be sadly missed
R.I.P. mel hunnie