Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Even Keel

Oh i am so bad for not coming here more often but my life seems to either be up in some cloud 9 cuckoo land or deep in the grand canyon, never ever for more than a week or two on any thing like an even keel.
Times when in pasts i've wish for more time with MG, times Hes wished to be at home , all these wishes, once before i had cause to reconsider my desires, what i wished for  and now here we are 8 months on and due to His ill health we are at home together, fighting the Cancer demon. Last November following a very minor health scare we followed the course as you do and ;February He was diagnosed with Bladder cancer, since then we have experienced chemotherapy, radiotherapy and emergency surgery on a broken humerus,  hair loss, weight loss, pain the use of a whole lot of Morphine among other controlled drugs.where this leave us is, well in an upside down situation from where we knew we could survive, cope etc Work has stopped for Him, way to many hospital appointments, too much tiredness and pain to cope with without the added pressure of a 12 hour work shift so we now tread the benefit trail in an attempt to financially maintain our way of life, so far its not going to badly, we are far from destitute.As for our lifestyle, we remain as always Master and slave, we continue to look after each other in more ways than one now, together we are a formidable team and will not go down without a fight We will beat this new challenge.. together as always. BUT we do now have the time to be together , to do the things, follow the few rituals be who we are, our girls have left home so we are alone , together and so we are making time to rekindle some of what time has taken from us, neither of us are under any illusion that we can get back to where we once were within our own M/s but we are sure we can go a fair way into living the life once more. i'm not going to wish, I've done that before and my wishes have been granted but at what cost!!!!!!