Friday, January 30, 2009


No, i am not proud of my body---i am over weight. i do not find my body attractive in any manner. i have learned, over time, to be happy with it as it is at this moment. Actually, this realization came to me within the last couple of year. After all the rehab I’ve done, im about as good as im likely to get now and i can accept that along with age and filling out in places id rather not. i have more clothes than i could imagine. Those are appealing and look good on me. As for my underwear. MG insists i wear only thongs which at first i didn’t like but now im very comfortable in them. Bra’s . Mainly due to the difficult of putting then on, i tend not to wear one unless i am going out them i make the effort. ~My clothes are selected for ease of dressing, but when we go out MG still decides on what i will wear. And even if we are staying in He will tell me to dress in a particular manner which please Him, i have many fetish style outfits which i am comfortable to wear at home and out to a club, many Basques/corsets. Shoes im afraid now must be flat to afford me any chance of walking unaided. i do very much miss my heels as i know MG misses seeing me in them but practically heels are out now, another thing i have had to accept. So, for Master and for me i like to look nice..... For him most of all

Friday, January 23, 2009

i am...

i am the person i am because of all the things i have been through….and i do like the person i am and i just need to keep remembering that…. i am who i am….because of my experiences good and bad..

i have someone to love me like i love Him. He give me as much as i give to Him.
i am Yours always, good or bad, I prefer the good but no one is perfect, still i’ll keep trying Sir

Monday, January 19, 2009


I close my eyes… and reflect on us as a whole… who we are, what us means to me.. i have You in my heart… and i love You so much… the feeling in my heart.. is all about us.. to live, and learn..
No matter what happens in my life or in Masters Life, we are bound together forever. Not by rope, or chains, or handcuffs, but with the love and compassion in our hearts.
As Masters slave i can not explain enough or even describe into words the feelings He gives me.
He is my life though, and i refuse to be without Him, ever….Whilst he watches over me and protects me always and forever.
We’d have it no other way

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

perfect slave

The whole issue of being the "perfect slave" which does not exist, what does exist is being the best slave that you can be for your Master which of course means ones expectations may differ from the next and im certainly not that, i try hard but im a long way off. Other obviously seem to think i need some correcting, but as Master doesn’t, then im ok with that, as long as He is ok with my behaviour. The perfect slave how exactly is that proved........... by who can take the most cane strokes, etc? Or maybe its who behaves more appropriately. i don’t get, the obsession with "punishment”. To me punishment is given to correct unwanted behaviour, and generally something i wont like.i don’t and will never understand the “oh ive been naughty, Master will punish me” or the set up to fail attitude of some Doms. In being who i am, if i step out of line i would expect Master to tell me i have, i don’t appreciate another Dom who just because i may not reach His expectation of the perfect slave attempting to correct me, verbally or otherwise and when i don’t comply, throws His dummy out of the pram and storms off, oh well.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

lucky me !!

In so many ways i am a lucky submissive to have a Master who gives me as much latitude as he does. My writing is my own. i can practice my craft in whatever medium i so choose. i am free to express opinions (within reason i suppose), he doesn’t outwardly control every aspect of my life. But yet every action has become one with him in mind. What i wear , . Hell even what i make for dinner each night, i think “Master will really enjoy having this tonight”. i can feel that centered grounding place. God i love that place. The “yes, this is where i’ve longed to be all day” place.Some who don’t understand the need to please and the need to serve would say that i’m losing who i am. The strong independent me who doesn’t take shit from anyone. To that i simply answer, being able to serve has only made me stronger in who i am. Having a Master whose convictions so closely match my own has given me more strength to be the woman i’ve always longed to be. i know that i please him, and that makes me stronger in everything that i do as an friend, sibling, mother. It also gives me the freedom to let go, surrender the control, put myself into his hands. There’s no greater feeling in the world for me than to know i’m serving, i’m pleasing, i’m loved, i’m used, i’m treasured. Yeah, it’s the best of everything, and I’m holding on tight.

Monday, January 05, 2009


i forever reach my hand out, awaiting for His hand to take mine in the ritual we have used for some years now, my hand upwards denoting submission, in His downward facing showing His Dominance.. just waiting to feel His hand reach out to touch mine.
I fully know that no matter what happens in my life or in Masters life, W/we are bound together forever. not by rope, or chains, or handcuffs, but with the love and compassion in O/our hearts. He is my life though, and i refuse to live without Him.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

New beginnings

i am reminded of a new book…….of blank pages which are yet to be written in…….fresh, full of possibilities. i read somewhere today the feelings you have as you enter a new year can sometimes be predictors of the year ahead. If that’s true, this year will be bright, positive, optimistic and full of love for us.
As we step forward into 2009, may we be given the grace to accept its gifts in whatever form they are given to us, the strength to face its challenges, the wisdom to learn its lessons, and the love to do so with open hearts.