Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Nonsensical

Control is not one of my strengths.It is tremendously hard to deny myself the things that bring me pleasure. Even when what brings me pleasure is painful.
Still i try. i keep thinking that desiring the greater goals will spur me on; will give me the mask of control and confidence that i need... to resist... Temptation.
Yet it seems i am destined to endure self-denial. Desiring nothing so much as a few hours of play on soft sheets, my thoughts turn to other attainable satisfactions... cream... or even a silly nonsensical text that flutters my heart strings..instead i'll make do with a cup of tea. i must not let the desires i have which will not be fulfilled in the immediate moment, gain prominence, no point in focusing on what is not,but rather on what might be.Even better focus on what IS.....

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