Two things that seemed to have been in the forefront of my thinking this weekend, neither having that much bearing on the other but both have value and need some mentioning.
Master and i attended a munch* on Friday, not something we have done for a while, but we needed a night out and some real life D/s friends invited us, so we made the effort to go.
Maybe i am getting too old, but a smoke filled pub with very loud music and a crowd of adult nilla males who don't know how to behave in public sort of ruined the night before it began. i should also mention that as far as i am concerned, if one is intending to go on to another venue at some point in the evening and have any intention of "playing" i feel that to consume any amount of alcohol is not a good advertisement for the Safe, Sane and Consensuality that are the watchwords of the lifestyle we all move in.
However little you may consume in an evening, impairs not only ability but judgment and it is, as far as i am concerned, a golden rule that you do not play having had a drink. Those principles didn't seem to apply on Friday and altho it isn't any of my business what others do, i still feel that it is worth a mention here that drink, drugs or any other substance that has an effect on ones senses, however little, should not be mixed with play, its asking for trouble and certainly does not set a good image for the lifestyle as a whole. There are far too many things that can go wrong within a scene as some of the techniques and toys used have to be handled with care and attention, accidents happens and one needs to be in full control of oneself in a play setting as under the influence of any substance these usually well controlled yet safe activities, can become dangerous. We left and went on to have a nice meal with our friends and the evening wasn't a total disaster.
The other thing that has occurred this weekend is the break up of a few long term D/s relationships of people we have come to know quite well within the chat scene, each couple having been together for some time and yet, they have come to the end of their roads together. No one is to blame in these break ups yet the pain and heartache that the subs in particular feel is obvious in their way of speaking and the fact that they each feel they have given all they could to their respective Dominants and yet have found that it wasn't enough. The submissive trait of blaming themselves, that they have failed in their submission or that they may in fact not be a good submissive seems to be one of the main factors in their pain and try as one might to say that even within a D/s relationship, that it take two to tango, they still cannot accept that it was not their fault alone. Each has a different way of coping and i can only hope that time will heal the wounds and the pain and that none of them leave the lifestyle because of their experiences.
It pains me to see good friends having such a hard time, i wonder what to say to each, as words do not help in these situations, online D/s that goes on to become real life, that stands the test of time, because of the depth with which these relationship go, the pain of parting is not just about losing the love of ones life, but of losing the Master, the controlling influence, the holder of all that you have become. It must be such a wrench, i cannot even begin to imagine how it must be, to one day have the main focus of your life there, for you to love and care for, to feel his power in your life, his control over so many aspects of day to day living and then, to not have that any more... the loss must be unbearable.
i am thankful that i know in my heart of hearts that i shall never be in that position with my Master, we are as one, now and forever, there is no other way for us now.
*Munch: A social gathering of likeminded people, sometimes including playparty afterwards but other times, just to meet and get to know others in the lifestyle
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