Thursday, November 18, 2004

Decisions, Decisions

The need to make decisions in our lives is one that i don't think any of us are really expert at, we all have to make these choices at some stage or another, we all have to work out the pro's and con's of the choices concerning our daily lives and those choices are likely to affect not just ourselves but those around us as well. When a choices we have to make has a significant bearing on the lives of others it makes the decisions even harder.
Its all very well if you are a single person and what you decide to do in any given circumstances affect you and only you, there is only that one consideration, is it what you want, fine, fair enough, go with whatever you decide is best for you. It will not affect or not hurt or cause others any hardship. If however, the decision is going to have a bearing, on the lives of your loved ones, your family, yourself even then it is a much more difficult decision to make when you have to take into account all the other outside influences.
As a submissive, i chose to give up the right to make certain decisions about my life, i give those over to my Master for him to make then on my behalf, of course, he isn't likely to make those without first asking my opinion on the matter but because i give him the right to have the final say, at the end of the day, the decision process will stop fairly and squarely at his feet. He will always talk to me about things that have a bearing on not just himself, but on me and the children, taking all those factors into consideration before he makes his final choice. That added pressure, the need to see that whatever he does decide, does not have a fall out that will affect us in a bad way makes this process really difficult, even to his detriment on occasions and i have to say that sometimes i feel that we, the kids and i, cause him more worry than he needs to bear. But that again, is his decision and when i have pointed this out to him, he will firmly tell me, that that is his duty and that i have no need to even concern myself with it. Doesn't make matters any easier on me tho, i worry that he might take on too much in his efforts to take care of us all.
The current dilemma is whether to quit his job, which if you are a regular reader of my blog, you will be aware is a shite one to say the least and is taken a heavy toll on him and us as well. i have no doubt that whatever he decides will be in the best interest of us all but with many other factors to consider, not just the quitting but what comes after, all have to be thought about and taken into account. i can and have giving my Master my thoughts on the matter, we have talked about all the various options available and gone over all the good and bad points of quitting and staying, holding out till something else is found, every avenue will be explored, but again, the decision, will be his and his alone. All i can do and of course will do, is give him my total support in whatever he decides to do and be there as and when i am needed.
i have never liked to make choices for myself, i am quite able to make them, have had to make them at certain points in my life, some even having major effects on both me and the children, when i have to i can and like anyone else will go with the consequences of any decisions i have had to make, however, that doesn't mean to say i like making them and when i choose to become my Masters submissive, one of those things i gave up was that need to make life changing decisions, and i have to say that it is not something i miss because i don't.. i tend to panic now, if i am left to decide, looking to MG for guidance and support, help and encouragement so that if i have to make a choices, i can at least do it with some confidence that i am making the right ones.
i can only hope that at the end of all the working out and balancing of this current situation my Master comes to a decision that is not only right for me and the girls but is also right for him. i have trust in him that it will. Watch this space..!!!

1 comment:

SK said...

Life is too short to be unhappy, unfufilled - and considering that our jobs take up at least 1/3 of our day. It affects us deeply.

When you have responsibilities, it's hard to put happiness, fufillment ahead of the rest. But, what you can do is develop a plan. Sometimes it helps to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

(For stress relief in a miserable job, I would work on my resignation letter. Sometimes I would just tell my manager what he could do with his stapler and other times, I would craft a truly professional yet witty version.)

As I'm in the employment industry, one should ALWAYS be out looking for opportunities. It's a reality. You never know when you could be out on the curb. At least knowing what is out there can help weigh the options.

As a sub/wife/girlfriend - regardless - it's his decision. I'm sure he's grateful to have your support and devotion.