Saturday, October 23, 2004

No...!!

That little word that so many people seem to forget how to say and in doing so, get themselves into all sorts of situations that under any normal circumstance they wouldn't go anywhere near. So why contemplate such actions in the name of D/s.
It would seem that the idea of a sub saying "No"to a Dom is not acceptable under some rule that the Dom is always going to be right or that the sub, having admitted that submission is part of her makeup, hasn't got the wherewithal to say No to anything a Dom suggests or requested of her.
Well, not this sub, and certainly not the slave she has become, altho having said that, it would take a lot for me to even think about saying No to MG , there would have to be a very very good reason and i am sure that it wouldn't really come to the point of me having to say it because we would have discussed the matter at length in the first place.
But the main subject for today is the idea that within a D/s situation, there is a school of thought, mainly amongst the less well informed that the rights of the submissive are diminished by the very fact that she is a submissive and that as such, she has stamped on her forehead, "Doormat, walk all over me" and that some, again, lesser informed maybe, feel they have a right to treat her in manner more befitting of a piece of meat. Well, i have to say that the majority of subs i know are far from pieces of anything, most are intelligent, witty, imaginative females, many with careers that a lot of men would scream for, and who mostly are able to hold their own in the big wide world, the only thing that makes them sub to anyone, is their choice too.
Having said that, the choice they make doesn't give anyone, Dom or otherwise the right to treat then with less manners or thought than they would if the person wasn't showing signs of being submissive so what is it that sends this signal to the Dominant population that gives then the idea that this is how the sub should be treated.

It has been suggested that the practice might come from just lack of basic D/s understanding on the part of the Dominants, that they have seen others treat subs this way and so it must be the right thing to do and far be it for them to change established protocols, but my understanding is that these "Doms" will not have a great deal of luck in finding a good submissive if they cannot firstly, understand that submissive does not mean treat me badly and secondly, that a good sub will be happy to offer her submission, but only to the one who treat her in the manner she deserves, that of a treasure possession, one to be care for, cherished and loved.

We, subs/slaves are no different to the next female, apart from an inner desire to please and to serve, why therefore should any man assume that just because we have these traits, that it give him carte blance to treat us in a manner unbefitting of any woman let alone one whom he may wish to have please him in all manner of ways.Two way street, give and take, respect given and taken... nothing in life is as simple as i want so i get. No lifestyle which i know about has that as an ethos.
Basic human nature, the lessons learnt as we all grow into decent human beings teaches us to have respect for our fellow man/woman and to treat each as we would wish to be treated ourselves. That doesn't exclude submissives, in fact, from the depth that a D/s relationship can take people, it is, in my humble opinion, far more important to have respect for your partner than not. The relationship will go a lot further with it than without.

If a dominant doesn't show due respect for the subs needs or her well being, He really doesn't care about the submissive at all and is only concerned for Himself and His own needs and as such really isn't what a Dom is all about, is he Dom or is he just out for his own gratification and if so, does he seriously think that by treating a sub with contempt or making her feel bad about herself that she is likely to fall to her knee before him and give him her world, well some might, but not any sub that is worth her salt and not one that i know.
Submissive does not mean stupid, does not mean treat me like an animal, or take away my basic human rights, what it does mean to those who have a serious intent to follow their inner desires, is a need to serve, to please their one, to give over all they have that is what makes them who they are, in doing so, they hope that with the right person, who has their well being at heart, they can grow within their submission, to become the best they can be. They can only do that with someone who will treat them well, have respect for their needs and desires and be there to aid and assist them on their journey. In doing that, in given the sub the environment of safety and security, she will, give over of herself far far more than she is ever likely to give to someone who say "On your knees bitch"


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